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About Varied / Professional å©ïd +®¹¶United States Group :iconshow-my-colors: SHOW-MY-COLORS
Show My Colors!!
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Deviant for 11 Years
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Statistics 1,166 Deviations 11,399 Comments 114,375 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

My Fallen Hero by OcularFracture My Fallen Hero :iconocularfracture:OcularFracture 7 3 Selfie by OcularFracture
Mature content
Selfie :iconocularfracture:OcularFracture 5 2
Color Me Lisa by OcularFracture Color Me Lisa :iconocularfracture:OcularFracture 10 0 The Life Among the Dead by OcularFracture The Life Among the Dead :iconocularfracture:OcularFracture 11 1 Five more minutes  by OcularFracture Five more minutes :iconocularfracture:OcularFracture 6 0 Stranded by OcularFracture Stranded :iconocularfracture:OcularFracture 5 0 Lost in the Storm by OcularFracture Lost in the Storm :iconocularfracture:OcularFracture 8 3 Under the Meteor Shower Tonight by OcularFracture Under the Meteor Shower Tonight :iconocularfracture:OcularFracture 2 0 Can't get back up. by OcularFracture
Mature content
Can't get back up. :iconocularfracture:OcularFracture 5 1
The Bottom of the Bottle by OcularFracture The Bottom of the Bottle :iconocularfracture:OcularFracture 6 0 Escaping Upwards by OcularFracture Escaping Upwards :iconocularfracture:OcularFracture 7 0 The Daily Spin by OcularFracture The Daily Spin :iconocularfracture:OcularFracture 6 0 Guard Your Heart by OcularFracture Guard Your Heart :iconocularfracture:OcularFracture 10 5 Better Out Than In by OcularFracture Better Out Than In :iconocularfracture:OcularFracture 10 0 It's dark in here. by OcularFracture It's dark in here. :iconocularfracture:OcularFracture 10 0 Two Feet in the Grave (Version 2) by OcularFracture Two Feet in the Grave (Version 2) :iconocularfracture:OcularFracture 6 0
Please enjoy browsing my gallery. You might find something you like.


Eva portrait by AldoK Eva portrait :iconaldok:AldoK 272 9 * * * by KatyTwist * * * :iconkatytwist:KatyTwist 83 6 Lisa by AmateurOwl Lisa :iconamateurowl:AmateurOwl 4 2 Gentleman Pusheen by CreativeExcess Gentleman Pusheen :iconcreativeexcess:CreativeExcess 84 21 Catherine by EmilySoto Catherine :iconemilysoto:EmilySoto 183 4 Lake Goddess by FionaHsieh Lake Goddess :iconfionahsieh:FionaHsieh 445 10 Catherine by EmilySoto Catherine :iconemilysoto:EmilySoto 97 3 House by Daniele-Serra House :icondaniele-serra:Daniele-Serra 184 31 m3 by WyntonRed m3 :iconwyntonred:WyntonRed 171 6 Goodbye Friend by A-lichka Goodbye Friend :icona-lichka:A-lichka 381 100 Stargazer by A-lichka Stargazer :icona-lichka:A-lichka 40 45 Dapper Blook by EtherDraws Dapper Blook :iconetherdraws:EtherDraws 5 0 Bonebuster by EtherDraws Bonebuster :iconetherdraws:EtherDraws 12 4 Get Dunked On by EtherDraws Get Dunked On :iconetherdraws:EtherDraws 5 2 Focus on yourself by AquaSixio Focus on yourself :iconaquasixio:AquaSixio 7,566 200 Troubles by AquaSixio Troubles :iconaquasixio:AquaSixio 4,731 91
:iconilavplz:Take a look at some fabulous artists, yes?


by Tapola

Simply put into one word: Wow. This is so beautiful. The way it's dark and rainy seems to make the picture look black and white with a ...

by Tapola

This is one of the most powerful and awesome pieces I have seen today. Since I am a huge fan of close ups, it stands out as tremendous ...

This is a rather nice piece, in my opinion. The camera used is very crisp and very clear, and the model is lovely to behold. I like the...


My Fallen Hero

So, hi.

You may remember me. You may have noticed a very long absence. 

Maybe not.

It doesn’t really matter. But my absence began in early 2016, initially as a result of harassment, and it flickered on and off for a while until my life devolved into complete and utter chaos, far beyond the pathetic anxiety that simple bullying had caused.

If you watch me here, I can only assume that it’s because you enjoy my creations. Once, I also enjoyed them. But my greatest creation, my muse, the most important thing in my life was a little boy. Nothing I created in my life was ever so beautiful as this child with his limitless kindness, his vast curiosity and creativity, and his intimidating intelligence. 

He kept my feet on the ground. He kept me on track. He inspired me, and he taught me. He made me laugh, he made me think, he made me want to become a better person.

There are no words in this, or any language, that can express how unfortunate it is that I only got to know him for eight short years. 

His name was Faron. He was my bright and beautiful boy. And he passed away in August, just five days after my birthday. 

I have survived hurricanes. Physical and sexual assaults. Car accidents, suicide attempts, and so many various traumas that I really don’t feel like going on and on about. The point I am attempting to make here is that none of the things I’ve been through in my life, regardless of how traumatic and soul crushing they may have been, NONE of those things has broken me like this whole experience has, and I would endure all of it again if it meant I could have him back.

We fought together for ten months. He got to see his eighth birthday. He got to take a trip to Louisiana. The whole neighborhood got together to give him a make up trick-or-treat after he had spent his Halloween in the hospital. He was so hopeful and strong. He never stopped believing that he would get better, and even when he sensed that things were getting bad, he still wanted to push forward and keep fighting, but assured me that no matter what happened to him, he would always love me.

His strength gave me strength. His optimism made me optimistic. Him believing he would get better made me believe he would get better... and maybe that was naive of me. 

When he stopped being able to fight for himself, I fought for him, tooth and nail, until the doctors went behind my back and got a power of attourney to strip away all my rights and force me to give him up.

It was all very sudden. Five months ago, he left my life suddenly. And I still don’t know how to cope with it. 

For a while, I couldn’t produce any art at all, and this just drove me deeper into a hole, since art has always been my biggest outlet for emotional release. It has gotten a bit better since then, but it still feels like all the color is gone from my life, and I have little faith in my artistic abilities. 

I still don’t know what I’m going to do about this whole deviantART thing, whether I will ever feel able to return to it. There are too many things attached to it that hurt to think about, or face.

For the last couple of years, I’ve been posting the majority of my art to a special instagram under an alias (since people would go out of their way to track down my personal account and use it as a means to attack and harass me), and every so often, if I feel what I’ve made is good enough, I’ll post something to my Facebook page. 

This painting is the last piece of art I made before my little super hero flew away to infinity and beyond. It was entered into a super hero themed art contest and won second place, for what that’s worth.

At any rate... that’s where I’ve been. I debated whether or not I should even come back to mention it and risk inconsiderate losers using it as a way to really dig into me and try to push me over the edge again... but I thought it would be an insult to his memory not to talk about him, or honor his journey. He was a remarkable person, and in my opinion, the world is an uglier place without him. 

All I can hope for now, is that one day I can be all that he was... follow in his footsteps and make the world a slightly better place by spreading that kind of warmth and sincerity that he radiated so easily. 

And that maybe someday I will stop feeling like such a useless failure... stop blaming myself and stop trying to convince myself that there was anything I could have done to stop it. 

Thank you for listening.

Happy Halloween. These guys did a wonderful job on this short film, and dedicated it to my son who passed away two months ago.
Color Me Lisa
Do you like to color? Here is my proposal:
For every new 100 likes on my page, I will release another coloring book page. If I can reach 1,000 likes, I will release a full coloring book. As in, an actual physical book.
What's more: If I get to 1,000 likes and get the book made, I will give away ten free copies, SIGNED.
As for this page, feel free to print it out and color it, or color it digitally, etc. Share!
And don't forget to tag me. I'd love to share all of your beautiful colors to my page for other fans to see. Enjoy!
Link to my page:
So I've been gone for, like, ever. And I'm not here to say that I'm coming back any time soon.
I just want to be up front about my absence. And I know I'm probably setting myself up for a lot of really harsh bullshit that I don't need right now, but whatever.
There are at least a couple people here that actually care and want to know this stuff, so I'm here for them, and NOT for a bunch of total dicks with nothing better to do than harass strangers on the internet.
So here goes.
When I left, I was in a very bad place. Heavily depressed, heavily suicidal, and basically just done with everything and everyone.
I moved on, got medication, got a "real" job, and had a life for awhile.
Then in October, all that progress got tossed to the wind when I found out that my 7-year-old boy has a super rare and super deadly form of brain cancer. It's called DIPG. Look it up, if you want. It's the most horrible thing possible for him. And I am more dead inside than ever.
I already almost lost him a couple of times. It's only because of me and my mom instincts that he's alive right now. And I'm thankful that, as of now, he's still here, and he's stronger and more mature about this than I ever could be. He's accepted it. But I can't. And I will fight for him until the bitter end.
So I had to quit my job, which I loved. I'm barely holding myself together. And as much as I hated my life earlier in the year, now it's just rock bottom.
Honestly, I've thought many times about ending it. But because I saved his life twice already, I know I'm the one who needs to be here for him. Because if I kill myself, I'm basically killing him as well, and there's no way in hell I'm that selfish.
So I'm still here. For now.
And that's why I've been gone. So... I guess now you know. Thank you for listening.


OcularFracture's Profile Picture
å©ïd +®¹¶
Artist | Professional | Varied
United States
I am no one. Carry on.


OcularFracture has started a donation pool!
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Starving artist here. Anything helps. ;_;

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  • :iconcuckoo-pasta:
    Donated Jul 17, 2016, 6:18:12 AM


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ALDAL Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2017  Student Traditional Artist
oh hey happy B day
OcularFracture Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2017  Professional General Artist
Oh hey thank you! :)
(( Go fellow Leo, it's yo b-day! :iconaheartforyou::iconicecreamcakeplz: ))
OcularFracture Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2017  Professional General Artist
:) thanks. Happy birthday to you, whenever it is.
PixelQuartz Featured By Owner Edited Aug 15, 2017  Student Artist
 Happy Birthday!!cupcake Dessert Set: Cupcake Button Pixel: Cupcake Yum 
OcularFracture Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2017  Professional General Artist
Thank you very much. :3
PixelQuartz Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2017  Student Artist
No prob
LonelySitlentAngel Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2017  Student Writer
Birthday cake  icon Cupcake GIF Icon - Five Nights at Freddy's happy DA B-day :3 Blower fella (Party) Kao Emoji-16 (Happy Birthday) [V1] Me and My Birthday Cake Hide Birthday Emote Happy Birthday (3) Happy Birthday, Fyaro! Happy Bonnie Happy Birthday, Dwayne! Happy Birthday Sweet Kirby happy birthday to moo happy birthday Happy Birthday Grin Happy Birthday Sailor-Pikmin! DeviantArt Flag Birthday '15th fella (Badges) Birthday Cake  :D Spideypool - Happy Birthday 1 Happy Birthday MelmoHappy Birthday MelmobirthdAy '09 fella (Badges)  H (Alphabets) B (Alphabets) D (Alphabets)  Alphabet H Alphabet A Alphabet P Alphabet P Alphabet Y  Alphabet B Alphabet I Alphabet R Alphabet T Alphabet H Alphabet D Alphabet A  !

OcularFracture Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2017  Professional General Artist
You're a good seven days early, but thanks. :)
LonelySitlentAngel Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2017  Student Writer
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